My Festival: Fiona Allen
The actor, comedian and star of Smack the Pony tells us about the hell of social gatherings, the art and comfort of telling little white lies, and the lasting consequences of never having a Chopper bike as a kid.
There are thousands of shows at this year's festivals. Please tell us why we should go to yours.
I think if there are any like minded people out there, who feel like I do about avoiding certain social gatherings, then it's definitely the show for you. Firstly you will totally get it and secondly, it is difficult to come up with a little white lie if you aren't practised at it.
If you come to my show you will come away being able to use mine. And if you feel parties at your neighbours houses with lots of small talk (masquerading as big talk) and performative friendliness is a fate worse than death then it will come in handy. It's relatable and we all have days where doing stuff gets in the way of clear thinking. But, I get there in the end.
What will we learn from your show?
If there is anything to learn I feel it's that there are more people than we think that feel exactly the same way. We are all supposed to fit in but let's face it, the truth is sometimes we just don't! It can be easy saying 'No' to things but if it's your neighbours there's the political balance of the neighbourhood to manage. I think it will be a good feeling having a room full of us all who think the same way in these situations.
What was the biggest inspiration for your show?
Actually real life. People who ask questions like "What is your 5 year plan?" I haven't got one except to try and leg it. People who brag about their new kitchen islands and where they go on holiday. People who wear too much lycra. People who enjoy dinner parties. I could go on and I certainly do in my show. It's a wry look at suburbia and the people in it. People I know too well. Sometimes you have to get things off your chest. And I have a lot of fun doing just that.
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What has been your best review, and your worst?
My best review, well one I thought was great anyway, was after my debut show three years ago. It said a lovely thing about having successfully crossed from acting to stand up. And that I was engaging and a strong performer and completely natural. also they liked my delivery. That meant a lot. My worst was when years ago I did a comedy called We Know Where You Live. A critic said "What are you going to do? Come round to my house and make me laugh?' To be fair, that was funny!
Who do you most like spending time with in Edinburgh?
I love spending time with friends who I see in Edinburgh, and meeting new people. It feels like a swell of people who have so much in common. We're all there because we belong to a vibrant hub of creativity. Audience and performers alike. It's so refreshing. Which explains the kick-back I have in situations that are the opposite. Sorry, but I do not have one friend who likes to 'pop to Dubai' on holiday - unlike one of my neighbours.
Tell us something about you that would surprise people.
Well I am a complete piss-taker and sometimes acerbic and silly. That isn't a surprise to anyone. But I'm ridiculously soft and cry at movies. I think it's because I never got a Chopper bike as a kid. I had a Chipper. I think it damaged me.
What's the first thing you do in the morning, and the last thing you do at night?
The first thing I do in the morning is look around our bedroom. God knows why it's been our bedroom for the last 15 years. Not sure what I'm expecting to find - a surprise Picasso I forgot about. I thought everyone did that when they wake up, but on checking it appears not. Oh and that makes me weird apparently.
Thanks for the interview! We'd love to buy you a drink. Where are we going and what are you drinking?
Well we could go to a bar near Bristo Square. And I'd order a Rioja. Then I'll buy you one. Wait, that was a white lie...
Fiona Allen: White Lies, Gilded Balloon Teviot, 6pm, until 29 August
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