I had a daring afternoon tea at this lively Edinburgh five-star luxury hotel
There’s a new summer theme to try at this destination
Forget Edinburgh’s one-o'clock gun.
The city’s five-star hotel The Caledonian has something even better, when it comes to their three o’clock pop.
Every day, a volunteer - let’s call them Mons Meg - gets the chance to open a bottle of Champagne using the ‘sabrage’ technique, which is said to have been invented by Napoleon’s party animal hussars. They’ve even got a golden artwork on The Court’s wall that’s inspired by this busy social hub’s soundwaves, with a peak when the cork erupts in the afternoon.
On a Friday afternoon, it was my turn. As a student, I once tried to crack into my vino collapso stash with a Biro, but this is fancier territory.
Here’s the science bit. Essentially, the bottle is chilled upside down, so that the glass seams on either side relax. Then, you casually take a sword - yes, a sword - and skim it up the bottle. The glass lip and cork come flying off, and the maitre d’ loses an eyeball. Not this time, thankfully. I managed without injuring anyone, and they let me take away my cork as a souvenir. I was hyped.
The adrenaline fairly piqued my appetite for the Hilton Curio Collection hotel’s new Another Afternoon Tea (£65pp), which is available daily from 12:30pm-4:30pm until September 24 and celebrates the orange blossom and cacao infused Another Hendricks, the newest gin from this brand.
You start with a cocktail, and ours was a reviving take on a French 75, with lemon juice, gin, and Champagne. Then, choose your tea, while soul music like The Staple Sisters and Eddie Floyd plays in this high-ceilinged space. From choices including Highland rooibos and whisky, I went for Pekoe Tea’s delicate orange blossom oolong, and he chose Gopaldhara darjeeling.
Sandwiches are the first foodstuff to arrive. When it comes to the savouries, they’ve ignored the spirit theme. Instead, they’ve gone full-on traditional and I’m not mad about it.
There are five crusts-aff finger sannies, and one mini smoked cheddar and sunblush tomato buttery quiche, which I pop into my maw in a one-r.
An excellent ham, tomato and mustard mayo is my classic picnicking fave, and he likes the Coronation chicken version, even though they’ve held the raisins. I know that issue divides the crowd, so I’ll let them off. There’s also a cream cheese and cucumber that’s pleasurably clarted with butter and fromage, a smoked salmon and dill creme fraiche on malty bread, and a truffled egg mayo.
At this stage in our afternoon tea, I remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. Inhale slower. You are not Henry the Hoovers. We still have cakes to go.
These goodies, which have been created by head pastry chef Tamara Curcic are not tiny morsels, they’re quite sturdy hillwalker’s cakes, with five each, and one XXXL peachy and verbena polenta cake to share. They’re displayed on a modernist-looking three-storey plinth that echoes the grand arches of this iconic former railway station hotel.
I’m quite happy that the patisserie morsels aren’t too tooth-shrivellingly sweet and that you can detect the other ingredients.
Still, my husband is begging for a takeaway box after about two of the sturdy delicacies. However, I am still feeling pumped after my Champagne opening routine, and work my way through a few bites of everything.
The rich and malty gold-flecked ‘gin-tini’ inspired dark chocolate and juniper tart is probably my top-of-the-three-o’clock-pops, and, even though I don’t particularly enjoy macarons, the Frisbee-sized gin-and-tonic-inspired lime ganache and cucumber gel-filled number is zingy and fresh. Among other cakeage, there’s also the ‘flora dora’, which looks like another prettified finger sandwich, with its layers of Genoise sponge, rose parfait and raspberry framboisier, and there’s a soft madeleine that’s the colour of former (allegedly) Cally guest Taylor Swift’s hair and has a blob of juicy compote on top.
Anyway, we had to take away a few bits as homework, including the trotter-sized still-warm scones in buttermilk and roasted cacao nib varieties. These had been served with blood red bramble and gin jam, pink grapefruit curd and clotted cream.
It says on the menu that the tea concludes with a scoop of ice-cream, which is served from a stand in The Court. We slipped away before anyone could even mention it, because I was actually waddling like a penguin chick and I don’t think we could physically have managed even a thimble’s worth.
That final course would’ve made us pop and that would’ve been even louder than the one at 3pm, as well as SO much messier.
The Caledonian Edinburgh, Curio Collection by Hilton, Princes Street (0131-222 8832, www.hilton.com)
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