Being part of community is all the more important as divisions rise - Karyn McCluskey

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The need to belong and be connected to other people is a crucial part of being human

In the midst of the whirlwind of activity that is the festive period you may be desperate for some peace and quiet; just a little bit of time on your own without children, relatives or even partners. We all need some alone time, however the single most important factor affecting whether we live longer or die earlier is social inclusion. Prolonged loneliness, one study suggests, is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. The need to belong and be connected to other people is a crucial part of being human.

In Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, safety and belonging come just above our basic need for food and water. Yet so many people will be spending the festive season completely alone. We typically think of the elderly experiencing isolation, but so many people of all ages will see this period through never speaking to another living soul. Of course, there are organisations who pull out the stops over Christmas and Hogmanay to remedy this, but social isolation isn’t an annual thing.

Recently I was lucky enough to meet Lennart Lajboschitz who started the Flying Tiger shops. When he sold the business, he wanted to create a place that fostered human connection at the heart of a community – and he did. It’s called Absolon, but it’s known as “an extension of your living room”. It’s in Copenhagen and they hold communal dinners every day of the year for up to 200 people. They all sit at big rectangular tables where the food is served in large dishes so that people pass it round and share with each other. They have activities too – from yoga and family groove sessions to a plant market. Every room has a use and is beautifully laid out. The food is healthy and nourishing – and the ethos is that you treat it as you would your own home. You take care of it, including returning your dishes to the kitchen when you’ve finished.

They have made it ‘okay’ to talk to each other and made changes that encourage interaction. There is no signage for where the toilets are or what the wifi code is - you have to ask someone, which sparks interaction and sometimes conversation. The games rooms invite people to sit down with others to participate, play and form connections. It’s not necessary to interact, but so many people sitting beside one another makes chatting easy.

The society we’ve created often limits connection but, for me, the importance of being part of community is all the more important as divisions rise. It can be overwhelming for those of us who sometimes feel that nothing can be done in the face of the wicked problems that surround us from war, hatred and so much more – but hope can be found in each other.

Lennart asked me if I had ever seen the Ingmar Bergman film Fanny and Alexander as the closing speech had driven this project. “We must live in the little world. We shall be content with that and cultivate it and make the best of it.” For him, creation of meaningful relationships is how he makes the world just that little bit better. Amen to that.

Karyn McCluskey is chief executive of Community Justice Scotland

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