Balancing the family books

Wendy Morrison | Supplied by Acumen

Q: I’m juggling the cost of raising my children while supporting my ageing parents. How can I plan my finances to cope with both without compromising my own future?

Around 1.4 million adults in the UK are part of the “sandwich generation” – balancing the demands of supporting their children and parents. Some face an even greater stretch, also caring for grandchildren or grandparents.

You might want to help your children with university costs, a house deposit, or rising living expenses. At the same time, your parents may need support with care costs or everyday bills.

According to the Office for National Statistics, people in this position are more likely to experience financial hardship and to work fewer hours than the wider population 1 .

What makes this especially difficult is that these demands often arrive precisely when you would otherwise have been focusing on your own financial future. Many people feel torn between supporting those they love and protecting their own long-term security. It is a genuinely difficult balance to strike.

The first step is to get a clear picture of your own financial position. Start by writing down all your outgoings as they stand today, being honest and thorough. This will help you see whether the support you are providing is sustainable. If it is not, you can look at your expenses one by one and identify where you might be able to cut back. There is little benefit to anyone in stretching yourself beyond what you can sustain.

A solid back-up plan, including emergency savings and appropriate financial protection, is also essential. It is worth thinking through what would happen in practical terms if you were unwell and unable to work or provide practical support. Life insurance, income protection, wills, and powers of attorney are all worth reviewing, particularly where others are financially dependent on you. If your income stopped, the pressure on your family could be significant. 

Once you have a clearer picture of your own position, bringing the wider family into the conversation becomes much easier. Being transparent about what is affordable, and managing expectations early, can help bring everyone onto the same page and reduce stress on all sides.

Alongside the day-to-day balancing act, it is worth keeping an eye on your own long-term position. It can be tempting to pause your pension contributions to ease short-term pressure on your finances. For most people, though, this is a costly decision in the long run. Even modest, regular savings compound significantly over time, so maintaining some level of pension saving, even if reduced, is worth prioritising.

If you are finding it hard to balance these competing demands, you do not have to figure it out alone. A financial planner can help you weigh up your options and build a plan that works for your whole family.

Supporting the people you love is important, and so is looking after your own future. With the right plan in place, you can do both. Strong support for others starts with a strong foundation for yourself.

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Acumen Employee Benefits, FCA Firm reference number: 916905 is an appointed rep of Acumen Financial Planner limited, which is authorised & regulated & by the FCA, Firm Reference Number 218745. This content of this article should not be considered as advice. The value of investments and any income from them, can fall as well as rise and you may not get back the original amount invested.